Terror Firmer - 4K Ultra HD Blu-ray

I've been a bit more than a casual fan of New York-based Troma Entertainment ever since I first saw 1984's The Toxic Avenger, the movie they're probably best known for. It was a short, low-budget romp about an unlikely superhero with lots of gore and violence while still keeping everything tongue-in-cheek. That movie also established the mindset of their future output- not for the easily offended, but definitely not meant to be taken seriously. I learned a bit more about the people behind the studio in 1999, when they held a legendary online DVD mega-sale where you could purchase all of their output on that format for 25 cents per title - even with shipping, it came out to under $20 for a box full of discs. These were filled with extras featuring studio co-founder Lloyd Kaufman- seeing his name on movies I'd always wondered what sort of sicko he was in real life, and here he presented himself in a bit of a self-deprecating manner. I could've seen him owning a large video store and spending his time talking about movies all day had he not had the talent to actually make them.

Terror Firmer was released in 1999, just a bit too early to make it to DVD in time for that sale, and I somehow never got around to seeing it until this 4K release from Vinegar Syndrome came my way. It's said to be based on Kaufman's book (co-written with James Gunn, who started out at Troma) "All I Need to Know About Filmmaking I Learned From the Toxic Avenger," but everything in this movie is purely fictional with any similarities to those living or dead being purely coincidental. The general plotline involves the making of a movie, but the execution is so haphazard that on first viewing, I had to give up any attempts to make sense of it and only saw this as a series of gross-out gags. It took several viewings before I was able to type up a coherent review for you.

Having viewed this multiple times, I can at least make some sense out of it. The story takes place at a fictional version of Troma Studios, where a crew of filmmakers and actors are making a movie. I still can't fully tell exactly what this movie they're making is supposed to be about- it appears to either be a remake or sequel to The Toxic Avenger, as it features that character in a less elaborate costume than the original movie. The confusing part of this is all of the other Troma characters who appear costumed in the background during filming, but do not seem to be much of a part of it. One actor is dressed as Sgt. Kabukiman and randomly flies on a wire down an alley in one scene, but it's anyone's guess as to where he fits in the finished movie they're making.

To add an element of conflict as well as plenty of chances to show graphic violence onscreen, there is also a mysterious woman on the loose who has been killing people in rather gruesome ways. This is actually the very first thing we see as the movie opens - and this will likely be where some viewers decide to bow out - a man in a back alley makes a crude sexual comment at her, then she proceeds to rip his leg off with obviously fake blood squirting everywhere. Eventually, these killings extend to the movie set, where a stagehand has a large spotlight fall directly onto his head, frying him, and another unfortunate crew member is crushed between two oncoming trucks. These are first seen as simply accidents and not anyone's dirty work, so at first, everyone just tries to be a bit more careful.

Lloyd Kaufman himself plays director Larry Benjamin, who is blind but doesn't let that stop him. It's an exaggerated version of the real Kaufman, with him manically alternating between wanting everything to come out perfectly and settling for "good enough" at other times. Kaufman's real-life daughter Charlotte tags along, doing a hilarious act where she can say little more than "Huh?" (In the extras, great pains are made to reassure us that she wasn't on the set during any of the more graphic scenes. Seems she has since gotten into producing documentaries.) The main focus of the narrative seems to be on boom operator Casey (Will Keenan, who previously starred in Tromeo & Juliet). His admiration of mainstream filmmakers is a bit controversial, but Jennifer (Alyce LaTourelle) is attracted to him. They have a pretty hot date night, but she's then frustrated when he later decides to watch Titanic again rather than spend more time with her. Casey is then jealous later on when he has to mic a sex scene with Jennifer and another actor. And where does the killer fit into all of this? Well, I don't want to ruin the movie's one surprise, but I'll just say it's straight out of Beyond the Valley of the Dolls - and by that point, you'll likely be more than ready for this movie to end.

It can't be said enough times how much of a mess this movie appears to be on first viewing, and if you don't believe me, I'll give you plenty of evidence: Besides the aforementioned Kabukiman, there are many other characters who just seem to be there to watch the filming from the sides and don't actually have any real part in it. Most notable is a ventriloquist (Trace Burroughs) who carries his dummy named "Popo" everywhere just to have him make wisecracks as if he were a real person. Both of them get killed onscreen rather creatively later on, but it's anyone's guess as to what other purpose they served. New York talk show legend Joe Franklin shows up for a few seconds, seemingly just to be able to say he was there. Joe Fleishaker appears as a heavyset film financier who ends up getting ripped apart by an escalator, probably the most memorable death scene in this movie. I had mistaken him for Troma co-founder Michael Herz, as Fleishaker often appeared as him on the company's older DVD extras. It turns out that the real Herz isn't as fond of being on camera as Lloyd Kaufman is, so they just had Fleishaker appear as him. I'd be amiss if I didn't mention that Ron Jeremy plays a character's demented father in a few flashbacks, which at least makes some sense here, but there's also a very nonsensical subplot involving two French businessmen. Their purpose seems mainly to provide the climactic car crash that ends up smashing the head of a far production assistant running naked aimlessly through Times Square (yes, really.)

Terror Firmer also takes on the mentality that any idea that comes up during filming should be tried for at least one scene- most obvious is where the tone switches gears to that of a sitcom, complete with laugh track and annoying "Seinfeld"-ish music when Casey and Jennifer go to a restaurant during their date night and discuss their fetish for pickles. There's even a fake PSA tacked on just before the end credits finally start rolling with South Park's Trey Parker and Matt Stone, whose work I usually enjoy but this just wasn't funny, only serving to even further pad out the run time and should've been saved for the DVD extras. And just so you don't forget this is a Troma film, almost every scene features at least one poster or T-shirt for a previous Troma movie, most of which were far more entertaining than this one.

Vital Disc Stats: The 4K Ultra Blu-Ray
Vinegar Syndrome's standard 4K edition of Terror Firmer arrives in a standard case with reversible outer artwork but no inserts inside. A higher-priced edition with more elaborate packaging and printed materials is available separately on the Vinegar Syndrome website. The case holds a dual-layer 4K disc with just the movie, a dual-layer BD with the movie and some supplements, and a single-layer BD with more supplements.

Vinegar Syndrome takes pride in making every movie look its best regardless of its artistic merits or lack thereof, which makes Terror Firmer a worthy addition to their catalog. Shot in a 1.85 aspect ratio, the film is presented in Dolby Vision HDR and "newly restored from its 35mm original camera negative." 1999 is pretty recent by my standards, so I don't imagine there was much "restoration" needed- it looks better than it deserves to with most scenes competently shot in sharp focus and minor film grain. In 4K, the fakeness of many of the gore effects are more obvious which may or may not have been intentional, and of course you can clearly read all of the background details such as bathroom graffiti and the random movie posters stuck up in any empty spaces. There are some very slight white negative scratches in a couple scenes, which are easy to overlook.

Surprisingly, Terror Firmer was produced with a mono soundtrack, despite the disc packaging and menus indicating "stereo". In 1999, the vast majority of films, even smaller productions, were issued with 5.1 digital mixes. I intiially thought that there had been an error in mastering this disc, but sampling an older transfer on FandangoNow which is currently available to watch for free with ads, I found that the audio there was also in mono so that's just how they decided to do it. Both discs present this in 2-channel DTS-HD MA and it stays centered with the proper sound settings. The overall quality is decent for what it is, but below most other films of its time. The soundtrack features punk tunes from bands such as the Lunachicks which would've benefitted from at least a Dolby matrixed track, but I'm sure there were reasons for the mono mix.

If you are a fan of Terror Firmer, this release will give you several evenings' worth of additional material, although much of it has been carried over from previous releases. For some, it will likely be far more than needed, but this is one release that can't be considered lacking in extras. My main criticism is that much of this footage was shot on standard-def video and likely at the standard video frame rate, but it's presented in a halved frame rate here.  A few other versions of Terror Firmer are said to exist- one that is referenced in these extras is an R-rated version produced for Blockbuster, which had a policy against carrying NC-17 rated movies, which this would certainly qualify for. That version is said to have made the censorship very obvious, with censor bars on some scenes and Lloyd Kaufman stepping into others explaining what had to be cut out. This probably would have been more worthy of including here than the "longer" version we do get. That has been a common problem both with online video and discs. Here's what you get by going through all three discs in order:

• Commentary Track with director Lloyd Kaufman (annoyingly, the audio on this track goes in and out of phase every few seconds, bouncing Lloyd's voice from the center to the surrounds when decoded accordingly)
• Commentary Track with editor Gabriel Friedman and associate editor Sean McGrath
• Commentary Track with actors Will Keenan, Debbie Rochon, and Trent Haaga
• Cinema Through Chaos (HD 48:40) New retrospective documentary 
• Lloyd Gets Spooked (HD 16:46) New featurette with older footage of the movie's premiere at a theater in Minneapolis
• The Zork-ive (about 66 minutes) Eight "newly discovered on-set interviews from Tromaville's own Eric "Zork" Alan" shot with a 1998-era digital camera- annoyingly, the camera's built-in microphone hangs down into the top of the screen during these.
• Terror Firmer with inserted deleted scenes (SD 2:04:00)- This extra is a bit unnecessary, as it's taken from a 4x3 standard-def transfer of the version already included, with the deleted scenes in 4x3 letterbox format awkwardly spliced in. This also includes a commentary track which is exactly the same as the editors' track during the movie, switching abruptly to their separate commentary during the deleted scenes.
• Farts of Darkness: The Making of Terror Firmer (SD 1:39:23) Feature-length archival making-of documentary from the film's original release
• A Look Behind the Scenes 20 Years Later (HD 14:18) 
• Alternate Footage (SD 13:47) Said to be "mock behind-the-scenes footage," general goofing around from the cast and crew
• Bloopers (upscaled SD 6:20)
• Interview with Actress Charlotte Kaufman (SD 2:49) Lloyd's daughter, shot by him in her bedroom a few years after the movie
• Deleted Scenes (SD 16:21) The same deleted scenes that were cut into the longer version of the movie, this time zoomed in to fill the screen, with the same commentary track that accompanied them
• Storyboard Comparison for the Escalator Scene (SD 2:40) Where Joe Fleishaker gets it
• Gyno Talk with Actress Alyce LaTourelle (SD 3:03)
• 20th Anniversary Introduction by Lloyd Kaufman (HD, 3:28) Taken from a previous Blu-Ray release
• Theatrical Trailer (SD 2:19) Actually produced on video
• Teaser Trailer (SD 00:59) Also video-based

Let it be known that I really wanted to love Terror Firmer and was set to give this a glowing review. However, the movie suffers from an absolutely chaotic narrative structure, which took a few repeat viewings to make sense of, and is overly long on top of that (it's been said that no bad movie is ever short enough, nor any good movie long enough) At first glance, it's little more than a series of gross-out gags held together by a nonsensical storyline. If you're well-versed in the Tromaverse, you may be OK with that but I can imagine newcomers being more than a little confused if they aren't put off by the subject matter. I'd strongly suggest that Troma newcomers first check out the original Toxic Avenger and its sequels to get a good sense of what Lloyd Kaufman and company are going for. If those leave them wanting more, then they may find Terror Firmer and the extensive extras on this release worthy of their time. For Fans Only.