Red Sonja - Arrow Video Limited Edition 4K Ultra HD Blu-ray

Well, as they say, here’s mud in your eye. As the Sword and Sandal Fantasy genre was enjoying a healthy little resurrection in the 1980s, there were highs and…some lows. They can’t all be Conan: The Barbarian. Hell, they can’t all even be Conan: The Destroyer. And as they say, “if you can’t be Conan, be Kalador.” Actually, no one says that - and probably for good reason. 1985’s Red Sonja, under the direction of Conan: The Destroyer’s Richard Fleischer, was another attempt to bring a rogue sword-wielding character creation of Robert E. Howard to life. Things didn’t exactly work out for the best. 

Speaking bluntly, newcomers to this feature are either going to think it’s wonderful, terrible, or terribly wonderful. Few think it’s wonderful. Most probably think it’s terrible. A few of us out there think it’s so terrible it’s wonderfully entertaining. While the film at times enjoys a grand sense of scale and excitement, other times it endures a cheap, haphazard appeal of a backyard low-budget fantasy epic shot throughout scenic Italy. 

Standing of her own Amazonian stature is Brigitte Nielsen as our warrior, titular Red Sonja. A master swordswoman of her own, she’s on a quest to avenge the death of her family and her sister at the hands of the evil queen Gedren (Sandahl Bergman). Now in the possession of the powerful talisman, a weird green orb that can only be wielded by a woman, Sonja must go to war with an army, but she won’t go into battle alone. Along for the perilous journey is the wayward warrior Kalidor (Arnold “Not Conan” Schwarzenegger), along with the spritely warrior Prince Tarn (Ernie Reyes Jr.) and his companion Falkon (Paul L. Smith).

Not going to lie - Red Sonja is pretty damn bad. I grew up with Conan: The Barbarian and The Destroyer. I loved those movies to death as a child running our tapes into inoperability through countless viewings. I also grew up with Red Sonja, and I didn’t love it. As a kid, it just confused me that Schwarzenegger was obviously playing Conan but wasn’t called “Conan.” Sandahl Bergman was back, but instead of a warrior badass, she was an evil queen with a scar on her face in possession of an orb that does…something. It’s supposed to unleash all sorts of geological hell, but the how and why are never explained. Credit to Fleischer for bringing some energy and style to the show, but a weak story is still a weak story, no matter how many sword fights you throw at the screen. I also feel for Brigitte Nielsen, talk about a hell of a way to start your acting career by being thrown into a franchise property with almost no time to prepare. 

So yeah, as much as I wished I had some sort of nostalgic love for Red Sonja, every time I sit down to watch it, I prove to myself that I don’t. Say what you will about Pyun’s The Sword and the Sorcerer or Don Coscarelli’s The Beastmaster or even Roger Corman’s Deathstalker films - they’re at least fun. This Red Sonja could have used a little of the magic and earnest playfulness of those films. Each time I try to kick back and enjoy this effort to bring Robert E. Howard's creation to life, I find it sluggish and just plain dull. Maybe I’ll like it the next time I watch it. Knowing myself as a cinematic masochist, I imagine I’ll try watching this one again eventually.

Vital Disc Stats: The 4K Ultra HD Blu-ray 
Thanks to Arrow Video, Red Sonja rides again on the open plains of 4K UHD. For this review, we were issued a check disc, but full retail editions will be pressed on a BD100 disc housed in a black case with reproduction posters and slipcover artwork. The disc loads to an animated main menu with Arrow’s standard navigation options. 

Note - at the time of this writing, I couldn’t find my StudioCanal 4K set to provide comparative screenshots (my collection is stuck in an ongoing reorganization effort), so when I can, I’ll try to circle back and deliver some good A/B screenshots.

About four years ago, StudioCanal UK delivered the first 4K UHD release of Red Sonja to a certain amount of controversy due to the rather pastel color timing. Before I found out about the color grade, I had punched in an import order and was decidedly nonplussed by the piss-yellow tones and nuked contrast. Too bright, too ugly, way too disappointed. Now, thanks to Arrow Video and Silver Salt, the same initial 4K restoration returns but with a little extra TLC in the color timing department. What we get here is a much more stable, much more natural-looking feature. Details are clean and clear, letting us enjoy the facial features, the production design, the costumes, and the Italian filming locations. Coupled with this new Dolby Vision grade fixes a lot of the overly bright and nuked contrast, but it also goes a step or two darker than necessary. It’s not pitched into nothing, but black levels can look a tad thicker than I’d like. Not crushed, just thick. Overall, this is a much nicer overall presentation for the fans of the film to enjoy. 

On the audio side of the exchange, the disc comes in with an LPCM mono and DTS-HD MA 5.1 track. Both are excellent options, and while I may lean more favorably towards the LPCM, I can’t deny that the 5.1 track is a solid experience. I liked how well it opened up the soundscape of the action set pieces. The side jaunts and quiet time could feel a bit more front/center channel focused without much of a surround presence, so that’s where I favor mono for a more balanced overall experience. But where it counts, the 5.1 does a nice job with the material. The dialogue for both tracks sounds right on point. And as much as I love most of Ennio Morricone’s catalog, this score is damned silly - but it’s well prioritized in both tracks. 

On the bonus features side of the adventure, Arrow packs this disc to the gills with a very robust assortment of materials. Two commentaries, a bunch of new interviews, featurettes, and archival documentaries - it’s great stuff. Of the commentaries, the solo track from Dave Baxter is pretty good, but I had a more enjoyable time rolling through the Eugenio Ercolani and Troy Howarth track - it’s just a bit more livelier, and I tend to go for tracks with more than one participant. The new interviews are also a fun ride as they dive into different aspects of the production - I particularly enjoyed the Vic Armstrong and Pietro Torrisi sitdowns, and it’s nice to see Ernie Reyes Jr. get some more time to shine outside of a Turtle costume. 

• Audio Commentary featuring Eugenio Ercolani and Troy Howarth
• Audio Commentary featuring Dave Baxter
• The Prince and Me - interview with Ernie Reyes Jr. (HD 13:41)
• Swords, Stunts and Sonja  - Interview with Vic Armstrong (HD 14:59)
• The Last of the Invincibles - interview with Pietro Torrisi (HD 26:09) 
• The Danish Girl - Interview with Ottaviano Dell’Acqua (HD 16:08) 
• The 12 Labors of Red Sonja - Interview with Stefano Spadoni (HD 30:43)
• The Marvels of a Primitive Technology interview with Domingo Lizcano (HD 28:10)
• Moulding Fantasies Interview with Adriano Carboni (HD 20:18)
• Bodybuilding the Imagery - Interview with artist Renato Casaro (HD 22:34)
• Arnold Schwarzenegger: The Man Who Raised Hollywood (HD 15:39) 
• Red Sonja vs. Kalidor: The Making of a Misunderstanding (HD 12:03) 
• Trailer
• Image Gallery

Nostalgia is a fickle bitch to court. Some days she's forgiving, others it’s an unrelenting slap in the face. While I have fun memories of enjoying Red Sonja as a “so-bad-it's-good” experience, that nostalgic bite has lost a lot of teeth as I’ve gotten older. Maybe I’ve become more cynical - or maybe I’m just more honest with myself, but each time I try to enjoy this film, I come away liking it less than the timebefore. Why watch bargain Conan: The Barbarian when I could just actually watch Conan: The Barbarian? This isn’t to say that I think Red Sonja is outright terrible, I don’t, there is some fun entertainment value to be had. But it isn’t a classic. And truthfully, the more I read and hear about the making of the movie; that’s the more interesting story I'd like to see on film. 

But for the sucker collector that I am, I couldn’t shy away from this one when given the opportunity. Thankfully, the good news is that Arrow Video manages to deliver a great 4K disc with a much-improved Dolby Vision transfer over what came out a couple of years ago - it’s nice to see colors actually looking like real-life colors! Audio options are solid in both cases, and the collection of new and archival extras is well worth diving into. But for a film that’s going to have some limited appeal, I’m calling this one For Fans Only