Troll 2 - 4K Ultra HD Blu-ray

How do you objectively review a film that is categorically unreviewable? I mean, people have tried to review Troll 2. A lot has been written about Claudio Fragasso’s misbegotten masterpiece, including from our own Mr. Duarte. But truthfully, you can’t review this film as you would most others. It’s simply a film you must experience for yourself, and then judge from there whether or not the experience was worth the effort. For me, Troll 2 is a gas. A midnight movie staple, this is a film to be experienced with as many people as possible; ideally, go see it in a theater with a packed house, and if possible, slightly (and responsibly) inebriated. It’s a 1-star movie that delivers 5-star entertainment value. 

A long time back, I was aiming to make something of myself as an online YouTube critic. At a time when it was cool and hip to get drunk and do stupid shit online, a segment I wanted to work into my routine would have been called “Movies with Malort.” Watch the worst movies and “critique” them whilst taking shots of the worst liquor ever distilled. My liver thanks me for never getting that project off the ground, but if I’d made that segment for Troll 2, I think I’d have been dead drunk under the table inside of two minutes, as I’d take a shot for every cinematic oddity this film projected. 

Troll 2 bears no connection to the delightfully scary Troll. Take a shot. In fact, there aren’t trolls in this film at all, only Goblins. Take another shot. The film is shot as if your dad got arty and creative with the family camcorder. Hit that one more time. The cast is amateurish at best, delivering lines without conviction or in a way no human actually speaks. What’s another shot of this foul brew? Your lips and tongue should be numb by now. You get the idea. I may have had fun making that segment, but I doubt I would have survived.

Troll 2 is not a “good” film in the traditional sense, but under the right conditions with the right people, it’s a gas. As I said, a lot has been written about this film already. The 2009 documentary Best Worst Movie, from star Michael Paul Stephenson, who played little Joshua, paints a pretty damning picture of the film, but there’s nothing like seeing it for yourself. Even Claudio Fragasso’s nonsensical defenses of the film as a misunderstood work of art with intentional comedy only add fuel to that fire. As I look at Troll 2 through numerous viewings, I see a beautifully delightful, unintentionally hilarious mess. It fails at being scary. Even if you believe Fragasso’s defense that it’s supposed to be silly and heightened, well, it fails in that aspect, too. But because it constantly trips and falls at every turn, the film becomes a wildly entertaining event. It inadvertently becomes a successfully entertaining film, even if it wasn’t necessarily one the director intended. So, embrace the madness, grab some friends (and a drink or two if you need it), and brace yourself for the cinematic madness of Troll 2. 

Now, here’s what Mr. Duarte had to say for Troll 2 on Blu-ray

Much like Grandpa Seth (Robert Ormsby) explaining to little Joshua (Michael Stephenson) that there's no understanding the behavior of trolls, there is also no reliable way of understanding a cult following. Be it movies, TV shows, or toys, predicting what will gain popularity years later is about as easy as guessing the lottery numbers in perfect sequence. You just never can tell when you have a winner. Or at least, there's no sure-fire method to do so. In some extremely rare instances, the movie or show actually moves from cult to classic, which is a luxury 'It's A Wonderful Life' and the original 'Star Trek' series now enjoy. The cult genre is a highly fickle and completely random category type. And no one, literally no one, could have predicted 'Troll 2' would eventually secure a devoted fanbase.

There are at least a dozen or more other movies I would rank worse than this low-budget debacle. That's not to say 'Troll 2' isn't bad, because it really is a wretched pile of awfulness. Thing is, there are shoddier messes available, yet this one is strangely enduring and etches itself into the memory of viewers. Basically, the movie is surprisingly entertaining and unintentionally hilarious, which is the secret to its strong following. As far as the filmmakers were concerned, they were making a serious horror feature... but with goblins. This is part of what makes it so funny. This fiasco doesn't come with a single troll. Not one. And it actually bears no relation whatsoever to the original 1986 movie. The title is purely a marketing ploy — and one of the worst ever since there is no connection to the first.

The other part making this such a riot is the maladroit acting, the dreadful dialogue, and the utter lack of narrative logic, an essential element to a coherent script. Claudio Fragasso, credited as Drake Floyd, not only directed 'Troll 2' but also wrote it with his wife, Rossella Drudi. And well, their English isn't so good. A translator was needed so that an Italian crew could work with an inexperienced American cast. And well, that person wasn't so good either. The results are an unwitting side-splitter that has to be seen to be believed. How could anyone think they were involved in a scary movie!?! But that's exactly where the humor is — the sheer sincerity and seriousness of it all. The cast really thought it was a major Hollywood production — their big break! — and filmmakers believed their movie would scare and shock audiences everywhere.

When broken down into plot devices, inappropriate musical cues and editing, things grow worse, and we think this has to be some kind of joke. There are several baffling scenes that go unexplained or are simply forgotten as the movie progresses, like the popcorn scene. Why Brent (David McConnell) would think popcorn when seeing a corncob, we'll never know. And we'll never find out what happened to him afterwards. Or how about when Holly (Connie McFarland) recites what she'll say to her boyfriend, Elliot (Jason Wright). "It's me or the boys, Elliot." And the next morning, we see him lying in bed half-naked with his boys. What's with the spoiled milk? Why does grandpa only talk to Joshua? And for the love of all that is holy, would someone please ask what the green stuff is before eating it?

Filmed in Utah, it almost seems as if the Italian exploitation filmmaker, best known for his work with Bruno Mattei, hired a local repertory company, most of which had never been in a film. Their acting skills, from timing to staging, are obviously meant for the theater not the screen. McFarland is probably the biggest offender by conveniently positioning herself so that the camera is always in front of her and literally trying to perform as if in a playhouse. George Hardy, as the father, fails to deliver his silly lines with weight, and I kept waiting for the moment when Margo Prey, the mother, would stop looking surprised and just blink her eyes. And lest we forget, there's also the wildly popular "Oh, my God!" scene, which is made even better in different languages.

The only person with any worthwhile acting chops is Deborah Reed, who spends a good deal of time stressing the vowels in her name, Creedence Leonore Gielgud, with eye-popping enunciation. It's too bad this is her only known performance, because she was actually quite terrific in the role — even if it's one of the worst examples of overreaching and overacting. I wouldn't be one bit surprised to find out she's the acting instructor for the repertory group. I can almost imagine her on her own midnight horror show similar to 'Elvira, Mistress of the Dark.' You know you have a bad movie when her portrayal is seen as a highlight. But in a movie that insinuates vegetarians are evil and a double-decker bologna sandwich is used to repel monsters, there is very little else about 'Troll 2' that can be taken seriously. This is one horror movie that must be seen to be believed.

Vital Disc Stats: The 4K Ultra HD Blu-ray 
Vinegary Syndrome unleashes a new two-disc deluxe 4K UHD + Blu-ray release of the cinematic masterpiece Troll 2. Complete with a hard slipcase, an amazing exclusive slipcover, and reversible insert artwork, the film is pressed on a BD66 disc with a Region A BD50 serving the 1080p and the bulk of the bonus features. A booklet containing additional materials is also included. The discs each get their own tray in the main case, so no stacking to worry about. The discs load to animated main menus with standard navigation options. 

Sporting a fresh scan of the original 35mm elements, fans of those pesky Nilbogians get to bask in the glory of an impressive 1.85:1 Dolby Vision transfer (with HDR10, of course). Now, the past Blu-ray editions of Troll 2 weren’t terrible. They did well enough considering when they were released and so forth. My key issue with the MGM and Scream Factory editions was just how damn bright the film looked, with contrast boosted far too high, making the image look rather flat and lifeless. That’s the first improvement I noticed when rolling this disc. It’s still an over-lit film, but now there’s some life in it. Shadows and black levels are much stronger and healthier. Next in that list is the stronger color timing. The green troll blood the ghastly late ‘80s fashions, skin tones, and primaries as a whole are much stronger than before. Then we come to the expected boost in resolution. With fine line details, facial features, and the costumes (courtesy of the sumptuous Emanuelle series star Laura Gemser), all look sharper and cleaner than ever. Not that you necessarily want to see some of those goony goblin masks with that level of clarity, but it’s there! Completing the image is a much more cinematic appearing veneer of fine film grain. I figured this movie would look great on 4K, whether it deserved that treatment or not, but I wasn’t quite prepared for how good this looks!

On the audio scale, we have a DTS-HD MA 5.1 and 2.0 stereo track to play with. During a cursory round of disc flippies, the 5.1 track sounded about on par with the previous release efforts - which isn’t a bad thing necessarily, it’s just not fully useful. Much of the track is a Front/Center experience, letting those channels largely carry the workload while surround channels get to play with the incidentals. The more active a scene with more characters and goblins occupying the space, the more engaged those surround channels become. Key gags like the iconic “Oh my goooooooood!” moment play very well in 5.1. With that in mind, I did find myself enjoying the 2.0 stereo mix quite a bit more. With the spacing of elements and how they play out within any given location, they felt stronger and a bit more present. Not to say I felt like the 5.1 mix was unnecessarily stretched into the additional channel space, but the 2.0 gives a more natural resonance for what this movie is doing. Dialog for both tracks is clean and clear without issue. Scoring cues, such as they are, fill in spaces nicely.

On the bonus features scale, Vinegar Syndrome certainly doesn’t piss on the hospitality of collectors, delivering an impressively robust assortment of extras. On the archival side, we have the same great and entertaining George Hardy and Deborah Reed audio commentary. Sadly, the documentary Best Worst Movie isn’t included here; I imagine that’s a rights tangle, but Vinegar Syndrome doesn’t skimp. Just when you thought there wasn’t anything more to say about this film from the cast and crew, we have ourselves an impressive array of new interviews. All told, we’re getting over three hours of new interviews from the people who were there to live the madness! Claudio Fragasso is in Italian with subtitles, and he’s still an interesting presence given his feelings about the film and its stature. The most entertaining new interviews are with stars George Hardy, Michael Paul Stephenson, and Darren Ewing, who clearly have a lot of love for the film but also relish their memories of making this oddity. We might not get the documentary, but we’re getting so much great new content to dive into instead.

4K UHD Disc

• Audio Commentary featuring George Hardy and Deborah Reed

Blu-ray Disc 

• Audio Commentary featuring George Hardy and Deborah Reed
• NEW Eat Your Greens - Interview with Claudio Fragasso (HD 45:36)
• NEW So Bad It’s Good - Interview with George Hardy (HD 27:56)
• NEW All Part of the Play - Interview with Michael Paul Stephenson (HD 32:13)
• NEW Don’t Mess with the Goblins - Interview with Darren Ewing (HD 37:14)
• NEW Nilbog Vibes - Interview with Carlo Maria Cordio (HD 6:24)
• NEW Assistant Trolling - Interview with Alessandra Lenzi (HD 19:26)
• NEW Parallel Trolls - Interview with Fabrizio Laurenti (HD 15:48)
• Trailer

Troll 2. What a flick. Depending on whom you ask, it barely qualifies as a film at all. If all you need are opening and closing credits with a bunch of random nonsense in between, Troll 2 at least qualifies under that criterion. Good, bad, they’re not appropriate words to describe what happens on screen for 95 minutes. It’s pure cinematic madness, the likes of which only someone like Claudio Fragrasso (or Drago Floyd) could deliver! For better or worse, Troll 2 is a crowd-pleaser and a true midnight movie classic. So if you’re going to endure this one at home, make sure you’ve got plenty of friends (and maybe a few drinks) and get ready to hoot and howl at the screen. Delivering the unthinkable, Vinegar Syndrome unleashes a terrific 4K UHD release for this notorious sorta-sequel. The new Dolby Vision transfer is excellent, the audio options are strong, and the three hours of new interviews are fascinating. For the right kind of collector out there, Troll 2 in 4K UHD is a Must Own release... or it's a MUST AVOID for most everyone else.